Self Rant, Enter If You Dare -EDIT-

-EDIT- really wasnt expecting any comments or anything on this. its just that the depression seems to come in waves. i feel like i want to die for about a day, then its gone for a few weeks. i just sit there, crying about what my life could be if i just tried. but, i just kinda stay away from people until i feel normal again then go on with my life. so thanks guys. im not good with anyone really showing affection or anythinhg, im way to anti social. so i would feel soooo weird replying to your comments. but really, thank you~ maybe i can go more than a few weeks this time...

I often wish i could do something amazing, so i could have some awesome and exciting life. but in all honesty, im not all that special. i think ive known this for a while now, but ive just tried to deny it. im not some amazing athlete, i can barily even run without being in pain. im not super-smart, super-smart people know how to do algebra. i have almost no friends that i can open up to, and the only really close ones i have dont even know all that much about me. im not very daring. in fact, i could probably be considered a weenie. the most exciting the thing i can think of ever doing is skating. im not even all that good at that. all i can do is draw some ponies in the same static pose and not challenge myself. i actaully believe that if i died, nothing would happen. my family and close friends would be sad, but then move on. everything would be the same for them. the only thing that wouyld be different is that the annoying pony freak was gone. so, they would probably be happier. everything better for them in the long run.
ive done nothing for people to like me. nothing in my life has changed anyone elses. im just the idiot that sits there, drawing. not even anything significant. just ponies.
i dont blame people for hating me. id hate me too.